Montessori Our Way Part 4: Not So Montessori

We initially approached Montessori from a purely academic perspective and have slowly integrated more and more principles into our daily lives  However, we do not follow every aspect of the Montessori Method, sometimes by choice and sometimes by circumstances.  In some areas I'm simply too ignorant to know better.



Sleep
There is virtually nothing inline with Montessori in regards to our sleep arrangements.  In the early days we prefer to cosleep.  Both my husband and I adore it and it has been pivotal in my successful breastfeeding relationship.  While our little ones spend virtually no time in a crib, we do not use a floor bed.  Honestly, it has never interested me, although I do find them adorable.  My oldest two have moved to toddler beds by 18 months of age.  However, they are still welcome in our room whenever they feel the need.  Yes, it does lend to musical beds sometimes but no arrangement is perfect and this is working well enough for us.

This is the cosleeper where our little ones sleep next to our bed.  And yes the sheets are in the wash.

Food/Eating
Congrats to those of you who have been able to incorporate independent food service areas.  I truly mean that.  This is something we tried and boy did it fail.  I started out by providing a few small items they could pour for themselves for a snack such as gluten-free pretzels.  They would either end up eating an entire bag or eating just a few and using the rest to decorate the house.  And sorry, but I need my kids to eat their dinner and not just fill up on rice cakes.

Elora decided to make a snack for William.

 
I did try to change up my strategy and only provide enough for a daily snack.  It mostly worked until one child would eat the other's and I didn't have the wherewithal to constantly replenish the snack area.

I did allow them to retain access to water, dishes and most of their food prep supplies.  As much as we have discussed the fact that these items are not toys I have stopped pinching matches with the serving tongs and cleaned out a flooded play kitchen sink.  We also went through a spell where I had to remove all the glassware.  William accidentally broke a glass and found it so fascinating that he tried to break them on purpose.  Thankfully we're past that now.

I do try to allow the kids to help with food prep as much as possible but until my two year old has better impulse control, cooking and baking will mostly occur during special planned projects where I feel I have enough time and energy to control the situation.

Sometimes I wish he didn't know how to move a chair correctly.

 




Safety and Sanity
We use child locks.  Liberally.  I have locked cabinets/drawers, doorknob guards, gates and top locks.  In fact, I'm about to put a top lock on the pantry door since Elora has mastered the doorknob guard.  She loves to raid it but she doesn't understand her food allergies. 

I know it's important to make their environment accessible but there's simply places within our house that aren't safe or reasonable for them to access freely.  Of course, I'm not exactly sure that is this completely out of line with Montessori.  Controlling access to the dangerous or "difficult to control oneself" areas of the home means they can have more freedom.  When I find myself nursing a little one from time to time I don't have to require them to stay in the same room with me.  Given that most of our home is open concept, that's an extremely difficult request anyway.

The doorknob guard on the school room protects the classroom pet.

 
One area in particular that I had to be wary of was the art area.  Our learning cabinet and writing table used to posses a lot more than colored pencils.  I tried to keep going after multiple pen and crayon on the wall incidents.  The marker the appeared in multiple rooms, molding, toys, curtains, carpets, couch, windows, doors and light switch plated ended it for good.  I am in the process of setting up an art area in the basement where they would have more access but in a controlled manner.

We have to be cautious out and about too.  William is a runner and he can out run me.  We will take family walks if both my husband I can go.  If not, then walks outside of the home involve a stroller.  Since we have a retention pond in our backyard that he has tried to jump in, we have to go out back as  family as well until we get a fence installed (coming very soon). 

Come on.  Let me out!  You know you need the exercise.

Entertainment
My kids have toys and not just those that are wood and educational.  They have plastic toys and toys that take batteries. 

William passed out after a plastic toy play frenzy.

 One of the favorite toys is this:

They also love the Cool School Computer.  While I certainly don't buy into all the education hype on the packaging, I don't have an issue with them having fun with them from time to time.  With Elora's condition it is common for us to spend the better part of the day gallivanting around the Children's hospital from appointment to appointment... just three children and myself.  You can bet you'll find the Leapster in my stash.  I used to pack all kinds of busy bags and try for mobile school.  While those are great in the right instance I'd invariably end up with clothespins and index cards all over the waiting room at the exact moment they called us back.

One debated topic in the world of Montessori is whether pretend play based toys are acceptable.  Children should be fully grounded in the real world before they pretend.  Why pretend to cook when you can actually cook?  We have embraced dramatic play.  Our play kitchen is one of the most popular toys we own.

And as to TV, yes they watch it.  We do limit it and control the programs they have access to.  I try to be very careful not to offer it as a reward.  I have noticed that when we initiate our family routine successfully there's virtually no room for it and no one minds.  However, we do have our bad days when it's crutch for me.  I don't feel guilty about it anymore.




Discipline/Parenting
This is the area my husband and I are working on the most lately.  We both were raised in the standard achievement-focused, punitive household.  That is how we intended to raise our own family.  We are very enthralled with grace based styles and are working diligently to change the paradigm in our household.  It's difficult when you haven't experienced anything else.  I know we're on the right track but something the transition seems like we're blending the worst of both.

We are making much better progress on avoiding rewards and unnecessary praise.  I never knew dropping the phrase "good job" would be so difficult.  This area demonstrates that sometimes having the desire to change a particular behavior certainly doesn't mean you're there overnight.




So what's the point? 
Hopefully you see that it's okay if you can't be the "perfect" Montessori family.  I'm not even sure what that is. Every child and every family is unique.  To compound matters we all deal with vastly different circumstances.  There is a reason your children were given to you so do not be discouraged when your daily life looks different.  It isn't supposed to look the same!  As much as I believe in the Montessori Method it's important to be honest with ourselves about what is and is not working in our homes.  We should all be striving for peace in our households.  If implementing something causes you great stress or simply doesn't work, it's perfectly acceptable to come up with plan B in that area.  Sometimes Plan A isn't worth the cost.

I highly suggest setting aside regular time to evaluate life, even if it's just 5 minutes of focused thought every other week.  It's so easy to get into our routine and continue with something that isn't working simply because we feel we must.  To quote Dr. Sears "If you resent it, change it".  You children will be much happier when you are at peace, even if it means letting go a little.  Parenting is hard enough and we all deserve a measure of grace, even from ourselves. 

Our Unusual Light Table and School Week Wrap Up

Happy Monday!  Today I want to share a wonderful Craigslist find.  Many months ago I got the urge for a light table.  Instead, I found this for a whopping $10:

Yes, an overhead projector...  I wasn't sure how it would work out but overall, I'm thrilled. Not only does it offer the usual light table fun.

It also does this!   These are overhead projector pattern blocks projected on the dining room wall.

Elora found a lot of uses for the pattern blocks including making shapes and color mixing by overlapping pieces.  And yes, some of these pictures are older which is why she looks so young.

I introduced tesselations to Elora.  I started building a pattern and she wanted to finish it herself.

And here it is on the wall.

William has recently taken an interest in it as well.

Here Elora is trying to make shapes by watching her hands on the wall.

Another great find was overhead projector fraction circles.  

I even like the case for the circles.  She had to build each circle to put them away.

I bought a few transparency sheets so she could draw on them as well.

She liked watching herself.

I wrote her name and she copied it.  I was thrilled since she usually has no interest in writing.  We aren't certain but it's likely she has pain in her hands due to her arthritis.

She has had an intense interest in both geography and astronomy lately.  She decided to draw a map of planets.  She drew the houses that people live in as well.

We also have overhead letter tiles.  We played a game where I laid out several tiles to see if she could find the letter to spell her name.

She did it!

If you are interested in an overhead projector then I highly recommend checking Craigslist.  I purchased mine months ago but there still seems to be new listings every week.  I did a quick search and found two listings in our area for the past week alone, one which had several for sale at $20 each.  I'm not sure about all models but ours does not get hot.  There is an amazing amount of items designed for overhead projectors, most of which are fairly inexpensive.  I suggest visiting your local teacher supply store.

And of course we had our usual week of school activities.  Geography continues to be popular.  William really wanted to help with the flags which is why Japan has moved to South America.

Elora took an interest in the puzzle maps.  She had no problem completing the continents and could even identify a few.

She really wanted to work the North America map.  She needed my help to complete it but she enjoyed it.

She choose to explore the South America continent box.

She also completed a work I made for her.  We sorted items based on what needs electricity, batteries or doesn't require power.  We lost power for several hours a few weeks ago so she has had a lot of interest in this topic.  It also fits with our physical science work at the moment.

William is in a phase of repetition.  More towers, more sponge squeezing and more parallel lines.

He wanted to draw on the slate, which was a first for him.

I also caught him picking up a work he had accidentally knocked off the shelf without being asked.  I was very excited for him.  He's a bit of a tornado in the classroom sometimes, which is to be expected given his age.  I'm glad he's becoming a bit more gracious and concerned about the classroom.

First Dance Competition

I'm cheating a bit this week and starting with memories from last Thursday.  If you recall, Matt was given a surprise two days off work for completing a large project.  We went to the local Children's Museum.  

Below you will notice something in the monitor (as well as as William's head in the corner).  What could it be?

It's me... wearing Lockelan of course.

Here is the youngest of our clan riding round with me in the Sleepy Wrap.  I have come to adore baby wearing.  Not only does it keep my hands free, it allows him to experience life with me.  He loves taking in the sights and sounds.  He is also free to sleep as he needs to.  I simply tuck his head is into the side.  In case you are in the market for a wrap I highly recommend the Sleepy Wrap.  Unlike most wraps on the market it contains a small amount of spandex for a bit of stretch.  I have tried the 100% cotton wraps and could never get them snug enough.  As a bonus you do not have to guess on how much extra fabric to leave for the baby.  Just tie it snug and it will stretch as needed.  And in case you're confused, the Sleepy Wrap is now known as the Boba Wrap.  It's the exact same thing, just a different name.

Our Children's Museum has a fantastic carousel.  Even better... it's free to ride for members.  We always have to make a stop before we go.  It rates higher than ice cream from the food court. 

Elora is excited because she's old enough to ride the ones that go up and down.

William still has to ride on stationary animals but he still loves it.  And yes, that's my handsome man.

Elora had her first dance competition this past weekend.  The opportunity came out of the blue since her studio has never taken the preschool class before.  She enjoys performing but they were only given 3 weeks to learn the routine.  We practiced every day but I think it stressed her out a bit.  This was a local "everyone wins" competition.  As a former dance instructor I've always been on the fence in regards to competitions.  This experience only compounded my thought process.  I don't regret allowing her to do it but I have a lot to sort out.  Maybe I'll discuss it in a future Thoughtful Thursday post.

And yes, she did extremely well given then she never once tried the routine without help.  He group was given a second which doesn't mean that they came in second.  Placement was tied to their overall score so there were lots of groups that got second.

We had a fantastic weekend with family in town.  It even allowed Matt and I to have some much needed time out for ourselves.  On Sunday we went out to eat.  The experience was harrowing.  Lockelan not only soiled his outfit but he promptly soiled the wrap I tucked him in (naked) since I had failed to pack a change of clothes.  Fortunately we were close to home and Matt was able to run home for more clothes.  Of course, this made the whole ordeal last longer than a 2 year old and 4 year old can handle.  I wanted to share all those details in case anyone was foolish enough to think we have it all under control.

And what do you do when you need to buy time?  Order ice cream!

Elora enjoyed playing with the busy wallet I made her for Valentine's Day.  I'm so excited it's a hit.

This is a pretty bad picture but here's the little guy.  His head control is amazing.  He started rolling from back to front this week.  He seems too young to be rolling all over the place but that's where he is.

And here's another picture to prove that life isn't perfect here.  This is what happened when I took too much time tending to Lockelan.

This was my favorite creation.

Elora is continuing to prove that Montessori is everywhere.  Should found one of Lockelan's sleepers and proceeded to snap ever snap.  It was impressive because I can never seem to properly line up the snaps when I'm dressing him.

And finally... dance class was especially exciting today since their ballet costumes came in.

And that wraps our week.  There was not one, not two, but three exceptionally excited things that happened this past week... none of which I can share yet.  I hope your week was exciting as well.

Religion and Montessori

Those who are familiar with the Montessori  Method my also be familiar with some of the popular misconceptions.  On multiple occasions I have had others questions me about the foundation of mystical and new age teachings.  I'm not sure where that myth originated but it seems pretty prevalent.  I can't help but chuckle when I heart it.  Sometimes I'm tempted to play along by telling them a magic crystal pops out when you complete the pink tower correctly.

Despite the fact that Maria Montessori was a devout Catholic, the method itself is neutral and does not specifically address religion.  Of course, some schools have affiliated themselves with various religions so you will find a range of Montessori schools including Catholic, Hindu, Jewish and Protestant.

When our family initially approach Montessori, our interests were purely academic, meaning that we saw it as a better way to teach our children traditional subjects such as reading and mathematics.  Over time we have found many ways to apply this method to other areas of our lives.  I have come to find that it isn't necessary to compartmentalize our faith from our education.  In fact, I have found numerous ways in which the Montessori Method has enforced our Christan beliefs.

Love for Others
One of the critical aspects of our faith is that we love others as Christ loves us.  As the world becomes globalized it seems as though our American vision focuses more and more on the individual to the point of ignoring others outside of our borders.  Montessori's focus on geography and culture from a young age are phenomenal for developing global awareness.  As we learn about other lands and their people, we are cultivating hearts for the needs of all mankind.  I am also hopeful that a deep awareness for how others live will help my children develop gratitude for the vast blessings they have been given.

Sense of Community
In a true Montessori environment children are able to work collaboratively.  The environment is theirs and they must work together to ensure it is a place of order.  Montessori also provides tools for conflict resolution.  Too often the American culture teaches that each man is an island.  This is firmly in opposition to God's view of the church community.  He calls us to function as one body, serving each other and looking out for the needs of others as our own.  As a Montessori home schooler, this is the one of the more difficult aspects to replicate.  I have seen some community develop between siblings and my hope is that I can form a local co-op in the near future.  My children do attend a Montessori summer program so they can gain some exposure.

An Awe for Creation
Montessori focuses on the beauty of the natural world around us.  Children are taught a healthy, deep respect for plants, animals and the stars.  When we observe the beauty of a butterfly or the pleasant aroma of a rose we can't help but be in awe of everything round us.  This awe of creation points firmly to the awesomeness of the creator Himself.

Development of Self Control and Internal Motivation
Children learn self control and self discipline through activities like the silence game.  The absence of excessive rewards also help develop an internal motivation.  These characteristics are essential for living out the Christian lifestyle.  Individuals who cannot take control of their thoughts and actions cannot fully serve the needs of others.  Also, if we are going to do good works for the Lord, we must be able to motivate ourselves internally out of love and not rely on external guilt and obligation to drive us.
   

Love of Learning
The Christian journey should be one of learning until our time here ends.  I want my children to approach our Lord with a sense of wonder and joy, always engaged in a life-long process of learning.  One of the best aspects of the Montessori Method is that is strives to fan the initial spark in each child into a passionate flame.  Essentially, children are taught how to learn.


Sense of Self and Solid Reasoning Skills
Through self directed learning, Montessori allows each child to develop a sense of who they are.  This process also allows them to form solid reasoning skills.  As desperate as I am for my children to love Jesus Christ in the way my husband and I do, I want their love to be genuine.  They will not be able to fool God with platitudes.  We try to set a foundation for our faith at home but ultimately it is up to my children to seek in earnest and find their way.  I know this will only happen if they know who they are, have the confidence to ask the hard questions and the reasoning skills to process the answer.  In other words, I want to teach them how to think, not what to think.  The Bible teaches that all who seek will find and that gives me peace enough.


So there are a few ways that the Montessori Method has enriched our Christian faith.  How has Montessori affected your family's core beliefs and values?

My Favorite Printable Sites

As my 8th (since I started counting) box of laminating sheets showed up on my doorstep via Amazon I realized that I have made a lot of cards and other classroom materials.  Below you will find a list of my favorite printable resources.  This is in no way a comprehensive list.  It seems like I find new sources every week.  I am also only including those sites that have a good number of downloads.

If you are looking for a specific file, I highly recommend conducting a detailed Google search such as "astronomy nomenclature cards" or  "parts of a tree 3 part cards".  You'll be amazed at what is available for free.

Montessori Print Shop  Offers both free and for pay downloads.  This is generally my first stop.

Montessori For Everyone  Another fantastic shop that offers both free and for pay downloads.

The Helpful Garden  Lots of high-quality, free printables including the pink and blue reading series.

Montessori Mom  Plenty of files to download plus many links to other resources sites.

Montessori Materials  A material sharing site.  There is a ton here in every subject.

Montessori Material Share Yahoo Group  Another material sharing site. You must join the Yahoo group to gain access to the files.

ETC Press  Offers a few for pay and free downloads.

Counting Coconuts  Provides a number of free, unique materials.

Beautiful Sun Montessori  Downloads can be found on the menu on the right side.

Liveable Learning  Provides a number of free materials.  Must join as a paid lifetime member to gain access to all files.

 

United Montessori Association  Provides some useful files but you must sign up as a member, which is free. 

What sites do you use for your Montessori printed materials, free or for pay?